Just Manny Being Annie?

As everyone has heard by now, except for the guy that traded for Manny last night in my fantasy baseball league and had not heard the news (ha!), Manny Ramirez has been suspended for 50 games for violating MLB's anti-drug policy. According to reports, Ramirez did not test positive for steroids, but rather for a banned women's fertility drug, HCG. Stephen/Stephanie Peterson of the Gay, Lesbian, And Miscellaneous (G.L.A.M.) task force, a division of the ACLU, claims, "This is just one more example of Major League Baseball discriminating against transgender players." When pressed for another example of such discrimination, Mr./Ms. Peterson was unable to think of one.

Hall of Famer Rollie Fingers doesn't see what the fuss is all about. "Steve Garvey used to wear thongs or even panty hose under his uniform, but nobody cared. It was the 70's, man, it was a glorious time of sexual experimentation and moustaches." 2009 Hall of Fame inductee, Rickey Henderson, tried to distance himself from the controversy, saying, "Rickey says Rickey never took no girlie pills. If you don't believe me, you can ask Rickey." Oddly, the Players Union has not appealed MLB's ruling. Explains Executive Director, Donald Fehr, "Sure, we could challenge the suspension, but what happens if we're successful? Then all the players would want to start taking female hormones. Pretty soon, you've got tampon machines in the dugouts. I guess it would be interesting to see, given all the time spent together, if the players would eventually all have the same menstrual pattern." Talk about hitting for the cycle...