Saturday's Headlines

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Carolina Panthers Lose Battle, Lose War

Governor Blagojevich Appoints Under-Qualified Ravens to Vacant Playoff Seat

Cowboys Fed-Ex Release Papers, Pac-Man Shoots The Messenger

Shivering Satan Asks, "What Happened? Did Duke Win In Tallahassee?"

Murray Wins Easily, Roddick Claims Hot-Model-Fatigue Syndrome

Yankees Pick Up Stephon Marbury Contract "Just For Show"

Clemson Tigers Improve To 16-0, Book NIT Hotel Reservations Early

Bears Tired Of Defense Overshadowing Offense, Hire Marinelli As D-Coordinator

Huggins Walks Fine Line At Marquette, Stumbles Badly
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